Tag Archives: flight attendant

December 08

The Night the Lights went out in San Francisco

Rain is pelting the roof of our motel room; it’s raining so furiously it feels like rocks are hitting my head. Five of us are sharing a dank room at the Red Roof Inn San Francisco Airport. Four of us of us sleep in each double bed, two to a bed, and I’m the sorry […]

July 30

Running: A Love Story

I ran. I ran amidst the chaos of being a new flight attendant. I ran to the point of exhaustion. I ran so I didn’t have to think about anything else. I ran in strange places and put myself in danger. Wherever I traveled, I ran. I ran in Arlington, Texas in 1995. It was […]

June 25

Flight Attendants, Prepare for Hazing

  Flight attendant new hire training is a form of hazing. (Haze [haz]: to haze: verb: To harass with unnecessary or disagreeable tasks.) The need to haze flight attendant trainees is understandable. It would be foolish to take a group of people who looked forward to an easy, glamorous job and not prepare them for […]

March 11

How Not Smiling Made Me a Better Flight Attendant

Ever feel like you’re living a lie? I did for a while, and it was scary. I‘d become a flight attendant—a job where smiling is fundamental—but I am not natural smiler. I’ve often been told, “You’d be a lot prettier if you smiled more.” But my natural face is a stoic face. And when I […]

December 18

It Could Have Been Worse, Right?

Christmas day, 1995: I’m in a deep slumber from which I can’t wake up.  I’m dreaming I’m being chased by a mass of hungry, tired people. I try to tell them that I can’t help them, but whenever I try to speak, my voice is gone. I hear a wailing siren; the police are after […]

November 09

How to Lose a Pilot in 10 Days.

I am sitting on the passenger’s side of my car, crying because the song , “Drops of Jupiter” by Train just came on the radio. It’s the corniest song ever written, but it’s making me cry because it idealizes what I thought I wanted: a meaningful relationship. Fuck meaningful relationships. I had been searching for […]

September 26

How I Got Screwed (by Crew Scheduling)

My roommate and I are sitting outside a bar on Chestnut Street, in the Marina, the yuppie neighborhood of San Francisco in which we happened to sublet a studio apartment. We’ve come to this bar every night, for the past three nights in a row, only “allowing” ourselves to have two beers, because: a) we […]

September 08

How I Became a Doormat.

The drill sergeants (flight attendant instructors) at Barbie Boot Camp (the Un-American Airlines Training Center) instill into their new-hire flight attendant trainees that the customer is always right. Even if a customer doesn’t happen to be right, pissing off any passenger while on six-month probation as a new-hire, will result in immediate termination. “I don’t […]

August 30

How Alcohol Saved My Life

Wholesome, rosebud-lipped 22-year olds are sniffling and wiping tears off their cheeks. Our flight attendant training class has just received our base assignments—where we will start out our “exciting new careers!” Most of the Southern belles are being sent to New York. Many of the innocent Midwestern girls will live in Miami. No one is […]